Hillabolt.com

Probably not the best ones to use.

1. At her sister’s wedding, an employee chipped her tooth on a Mint Julep, bent over to spit it out, hit her head on a keg and was knocked unconscious.
2. While at a circus, a tiger urinated on the employee’s ear, causing an ear infection.
3. An employee’s dog wasn’t feeling well, so the employee tasted the dog’s food and then got sick.
4. “Someone put LSD in my salad.”
5. An employee’s roommate locked all his clothes in a shed for spite.
6. “Stuck on an island — canoe floated away.”
7. An employee was upset because his favorite American Idol contestant was voted off.
8. “I didn’t think I had to come in if I had time in my vacation bank. I thought I could take it whenever I wanted.”
9. An employee said he wasn’t feeling well and wanted to rest up for the company’s holiday party that night.
10. A groundhog bit the employee’s car tire, causing it to go flat.